You have probably heard this before, but The Mama loves her cruciferous vegetables.
And green juices.
Which is all to say that I can be a bit… well… gassy. This should come as no surprise to regular readers. “Flatulence” shows up on my list of commonly used tags. And for good reason! See here and here. It should be a little embarrassing. But whatever. The Mama has a body to take care of. If that means I have to be stinky, so be it.
Yeah. Take that, olfactory glands.
Anyway… I was particularly fragrant one recent evening (which is saying something), and Alice thought there might be a way for me to prevent some of the stinkiness I was inflicting on The Family.
I am indeed raising an optimist.
First, she commanded me to “Flip over on [my] back!”
The better to contain the stench, my Mama.
Then she had a more lasting solution, “Dad’s going to take a giant step. Like THIS! (stomps) Then it’s going to shoot you out of the house and you’ll toot outside!”
I can get on board with that.