on beauty

I have previously mentioned The Kidling’s propensity toward honesty. Typically, said honesty falls into the “total” category, yet it occasionally crosses over to “brutal.” Please, no comments about what it is going to be like when she turns 14. I don’t want to hear it.

La la la la la la la la. I’m not listening. Hmmm hm hm hm hm hm. La la la la la la. What? Oh, you’ve stopped? Good. Don’t try that again.

Where was I? Oh yes, honesty. This story refers to the brutal variety. You probably saw that coming.

First, a confession: I really like to look in the mirror at The Kidling and The Mama. A lot. I pick her up, find a mirror, squish my face next to hers, and stare. I know it is a little weird and a lot narcissistic, but with my limited understanding of genetics and biology, I am forever amazed by all of the people I see in her tiny, perfect face. The Mama and The Dada, sure, but also myriad uncles, aunts, grandparents, cousins… her face is like a little window into our past.

And, well, I admit it: we are just so darned cute together. There’s that, too.

But Alice sees it differently. Just a few days ago, she was pondering her mouth. I have no idea why, so don’t ask. Whilst considering their beauty, she declared of her lips, “Mine are like red strawberries. Yours are like… like… pink strawberries that aren’t very healthy.”

Thanks, babe. Consider the ego checked.

The Mama is a schmuck

In the last few weeks, several delightful bloggers have delightfully bestowed… well… delightful awards upon the book of alice. But I am a schmuck and I’ve done nothing with said delights. Instead of the proper response , I am simply going to give a shout-out to the very kind (and delightful) folks who like my wee blog. They are (in alphabetical order)…

All that makes you…

The Common Tarte

Hurt or Heal

Inhouse Mum

The Musings of a Jewish Stay-at-Home Father

These are five terrific blogs (I actually read them), and I am honored that they find some joy/humor/glad-it-isn’t-me moments on the book of alice.

Thanks folks. You really are swell.

on confidence

Whilst marching around the kitchen la-la-la-la-ing for minutes on end, Alice stopped suddenly and smiled. This, of course, elicited thunderous applause from her audience of one (aka The Mama). With great form and stage-presence, Alice took a deep bow, smiling with confidence and grace before declaring, “I think I will be a singer when I grow up. On a stage. Because I have such a nice voice.”


the LBD of awards*

I suppose I should say thank you. the book of alice was awarded The Versatile Blogger Award by the wickedly funny author of Paltry Meanderings of a Taller Than Average Woman (try saying that three times fast). Which is lovely. And thoughtful. And retributive. You see, I bestowed the coveted 7×7 Award upon Cristy and six other fabulous bloggers a couple of weeks ago. And these lovely little awards do require a fair amount of work, particularly when your average blogpost takes four minutes to write. So here goes…

Rules, Rules, Rules…

  1. Add the Versatile Blogger Award to your post… not as cute as a picture of The Kidling, but fine.
  2. Thank the blogger who nominated you and provide a link back to their blog… here’s lookin’ at you, kid.
  3. Share 7 completely random pieces of information about myself… no dice. About The Kidling. No one wants to hear about The Mama.
  4. Include this set of rules in your post… because everyone loves rules.
  5. Nominate 10 fellow bloggers for The Versatile Blogger Award in this post… watch out, blogging world. You’ve got some work to do!
  6. Notify each of the nominees by posting a comment on each of their blogs… I’m cheating (thanks for the idea, Cristy). Email it is.

Super Random…

  1. Alice’s favorite color is “all of them.”
  2. The Kidling thinks The Mama is smelly. Because I am. After yoga, that is. When I get home she says, “Ick Mom! Get out of your stinky yoga clothes!”
  3. Alice has absolutely no conception of scarcity. She inhales artisanal sopressata at the same rate with which she consumes cheap summer sausage: very, very rapidly.
  4. The Kidling and The Dada have matching sweatshirts (don’t worry. They don’t leave the house in them. Duh). Whenever Alice sees her father in his, she suddenly declares: “I’m cold!” This, of course, is code for: I want to match Dad! Pretty stinkin’ cute.
  5. Alice is a guilty carnivore. Stay tuned for related posts.
  6. The Kidling is obsessed (obsessed) with genuine, New Orleans brass bands. Particularly, The Soul Rebels. And rightfully so. This is some serious, get-down funky music (they also happen to be the soundtrack to almost every dance party in our household).
  7. Alice is painfully cute. Seriously. Painful. But you knew that…

And the Nominees Are…

  1. The Tiny Sartorialist. Gorgeous. And tiny. Gorgeously tiny.
  2. , . Yes, that comma is the blog title. And it is gorgeous.
  3. Insatiable Booksluts. Love, love, love this book review blog.
  4. Haute off the Press. Law + fashion = fabulous.
  5. Trinkets and Treasures. Pretty, pretty things.
  6. AJ Rokin. This lawyer-turned-writer procrastinates in blog form. Surely you’ve never done that…
  7. Jimmie Chew. Have you ever wondered about animal stars? This blog is seriously genius.
  8. Bohemian Babies. Someone has to keep track of all the fabulous kiddo-design, right?! And she does it so well.
  9. Jennie Ingham. If, like me, you have a separate board on Pinterest for textiles, you should check out this blog. Swoon.
  10. Shoes on the Wrong Feet. I just really like this blog about life and the little things.

Whew! Done. Cheers!

* Get it? Little black dress? Versatile? Sigh. I try…

shameless self- (and kid-) promotion

the book of alice is on facebook.

You might not have noticed, because the theme I chose (Chunky) puts that kind of info (along with my blogroll of one, two, threefour don’t-even-think-about-missing-them blogs) down at the bottom. But I do so ♥ ♥ ♥ Chunky. Thus, this post.



I just ran across a quote I had written down on a scrap of paper. That’s the number one problem with being the personal archivist of a four-year old: organization.

Anyway, we had been talking about a soccer program Alice had at her daycare this fall called Soccer Shots. A coach (“Coach Banana.” Gotta love it.) came and worked with the three- and four-year olds on soccer fundamentals. I think the goal is to have herd-ball be a bit less herd-y when they start to play actual soccer.

Anyway (again), I was asking how things were going and Alice told me, “I am awesome at Soccer Shots. How could I possibly not be?”

Here’s hoping she will be able to channel that same confidence on some rotten, mean-kid day when she is 13…

commercial interruption

Okay, I’m going to interrupt the witticisms with a shocking question / realization / confession /epiphany…

(it is probably not so shocking to you, dear readers. both of you.)

Here goes: Is being obsessed with your child’s brilliance, wit, and beauty truly just narcissism by proxy? Now before you answer that, let’s take it a step further…

Is being obsessed with your blog about your child’s brilliance, wit, and beauty narcissism by proxy?

Crap. There’s no way around this, is there? The mama is a closet narcissist.