What do these things have in common? Besides, of course, evidence of my need to stay away from Sephora and our local drugstore.
12 oz. Suave Kids 2-in-1 Shampoo Smoothers in Strawberry
6 oz. Bumble and bumble Sunday Shampoo
4 oz. Bumble and bumble Super Rich Conditioner
10 squirts TRESemme Touchable Softness Shampoo
3 squirts Laura Mercier Flawless Skin Face Polish
The drain. They have the drain in common. As in, The Kidling decided they really don’t belong in their respective bottles; rather, they belong in the drain. In our drain, specifically.
Those of you who know me in real life might recall a certain Facebook lament regarding a rather pricy bottle of shampoo. It went something like this, “Saturday lesson: don’t leave a five-year-old child alone in the shower with a $25 bottle of shampoo.”
Well, fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
I hate being shamed.
Alas, I deserve every little bit of shame you might choose to bestow for an incident that occurred one recent evening. I went into the bathroom to get The Kidling out of the shower and noticed the fill line on my super terrific, super expensive Super Rich conditioner was significantly lower than it had been upon her entrance into said shower. Before saying anything to Alice, I took stock of the situation. I observed:
- The aforementioned depleted stock of fancy conditioner;
- An overturned bottle of shampoo that was suspiciously not dripping product from its lid;
- Some grittiness in The Kidling’s hair; and
- A very, very clean shower.
Shit.
So I began the inquisition.
I asked The Kidling which products she had used. She gave me count of the number of squirts she had taken, including a confession that she had used “lots” of squirts from several of the bottles. I asked what she did with so many squirts, and she told me she had washed her hair and body as well as the shower’s walls and floor.
It is hard to be angry with a kid who did exactly what she was told to do in the shower and then decided to clean up after herself just to be nice.
So I laughed. Then I asked, “And when you were done, did you use a little more just to be sure?”
Silence.
Then, “Yeah.”
I hope she never grows up.
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