what the–

Once upon a time, a million years ago, in another lifetime, The Mama was a singer. Not a famous one, though someone did tell me a few weeks ago that I look like Carly Rae Jepsen.

I confess, I resorted to Google Images to make my own assessment. I am that lame. Don’t get me wrong, I have no way of not knowing that brainworm of a song, I had just never seen the person behind the noise. (Confidential to CRJ: I’m sure you are really nice. I just can’t handle anything that catchy.)

As I was about to get round to saying, way back when, The Mama had a passable mezzo-soprano. No one ever paid me to use it (except for that church choir…), but it was precisely “not bad” enough to get me cast in small roles at my local university. No, I’m not being humble. Tiny roles. Think Third Boy.

Yes, really.

As a result of this once-upon-a-time-a-billion-years-ago-I-didn’t-make-ears-bleed voice, I like to mix up my lullaby repertoire. I’m not saying I don’t sing a whole lot of Baa Baa Black Sheep, because I do. I really, really do. I simply like to use my Mama-given chords as they were meant to be used.

I can’t thank god when my Mama’s got the chops she has. I know where this voice of mine came from. Can I get an Amen?

So one evening, I sang two pretty little art songs to The Kidling after I tucked her in. She listened intently. I finished. We chatted.

I’m kind of jealous of something,” she said.

“What’s that?”

I’m jealous you have a beautifuler voice than me,” she continued.

“Sweetie, it’s just different,” I assured her.

Not to be dissuaded, she insisted, “Yours is more beautifuler.

“Well, it’s older,” I explained. “You know how our bodies grow up? It’s not just the outsides of our bodies that grow up: it’s the insides, too. Your voice will mature and then you’ll probably sound a lot like Mommy.”

She nodded in understanding, “And my nipples will get big, too?

Choking back a giggle, The Mama replied, “Yes.”

So they can hold milk?

“Right.”

And with that little twist, I kissed The Kidling goodnight and promptly ran downstairs to share our conversation with The Dada.

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About The Mamahttp://kidlingville.comProfessional talker, editor, emailer, problem solver, adjunct lecturer, blogger, and mother to the brilliantly absurd Kidling.

8 thoughts on “what the–

  1. i love this, cool you have a singing voice, and i love the sudden turn the compliments took, bringing any ego filled moment you may have enjoyed to a sudden halt )

    • Note the use of the past tense: I had a singing voice. Now I just make noise. πŸ™‚

      As a woman who spends a great deal of time with five year-old children, you will believe me when I say I lost any ego I had long ago. Actually, not that long ago. Right around 5.5 years ago…

  2. I am sure that if you were to sing more frequently, your voice would be as beautiful as ever! While you may think me less than objective, I still think you have a very nice voice! On the other subject, I can think of nothing to say except she is very precocious!!

    • Fair enough. I’m sure it would be fine if I practiced. I could probably run a lot faster if I practiced that, too. πŸ˜‰ Alas, we only have time for the things we make time for.

  3. Hey now, I used to sing with you and I know you have a bee-u-tee-full voice! I do miss singing with you and the others in Kantorei!
    Love reading about your Alice; she reminds me of my Fiona! Though we had part of this conversation in reverse, as she told me her singing voice was “way better” than mine! She’s in total agreement with the nipples, though. I just had baby #4 and she’s totally digging the big nipples πŸ™‚
    Keep the comedies coming!

    • Thanks, Colette! So glad to hear Fiona keeps you on your toes. They make life fun, don’t they? And I wholeheartedly agree with missing making truly fantastic music. It really is a gift to be part of something like that.

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