The Kidling: Dad, can I have this lemon Starburst?
The Dada: Sure.
The Kidling: (unwraps neon square. Puts Starburst in mouth. Thirty seconds pass) This lemon sucks.
The Dada: (in disbelief) What did you say?
The Kidling: (repeats herself) This lemon sucks.
The Dada: (thinking The Kidling has been surprised by an unexpected banana Starburst or some similarly disappointing flavor, says sternly) That is not a nice thing to say. You know we don’t say that, right?
The Kidling: Why?
The Dada: Did you hear that from a bigger kid at your summer program?
The Kidling: (solemnly) Yeah.
The Dada: I see. Well, it’s another way of saying that something isn’t very good.
The Kidling: No, Dad. I was saying it’s in my mouth and I’m sucking.
You know I am obsessive about quote accuracy, so let me ensure we are all on the same page here. This exchange occurred while The Mama was traveling for work. Now, while The Dada has an impressive memory, he didn’t write it down.
Notice I said impressive, not obsessive? The former describes The Dada whereas the latter describes… well… you know. Don’t make me say it. Alas, I must be away from The Family now and then. This means I sacrifice the occasional story to the gods of employment.
Yeah, I know. It sucks.