Phone calls with children are absurd. I have no idea, frankly, why I even try, as a typical conversation with The Kidling via telephone sounds like this:
The Mama: Hey Alice! How are you doing?
The Mama: What are you up to?
The Mama: Are you having fun?
The Mama: Tell me about your day.
That’s if I’m lucky. Sometimes she gets bored after “Good.” and hands the phone back to a grandparent with nary a word of goodbye.
Occasionally, though, we have a real conversation. The Kidling recently spent some time with her grandparents in Nearby Town, which is about 75 miles from Our Town. When I called one evening, The Kidling was feeling quite talkative. This particularly detailed conversation included such gems as:
“Mommy, I feel badder than I’ve ever felt before.”
“Are you done talking yet?”
“Mommy, is it day time on your side of the planet?”
“Do you have anything else to say?”
“I found money at Monsters, Inc.! The round kind!”
Okay, so that first one broke my heart a little bit. Otherwise, this is why I endure monosyllabic conversation after monosyllabic conversation. When The Kidling becomes The Teen, I’ll be damn glad I did.