coach al

Alice, as you know, is one of the damn best kids on the planet. What you might not know, depending on how obsessively regularly you read the book of alice, is that she is not particularly fond of babies. While I wouldn’t use the word “hate” (which she reserves for brussels sprouts), I would not shy away from “avoids” or “dislikes” or even “can sense their potential for tears, spit up, pee, vomit, and general displeasure and thus stays far, far away unless forced to ignore her instincts.”

In short, babies are trouble. The only kind of trouble that my dear child religiously avoids.

But (you saw this coming, didn’t you, dear readers?), The Kidling recently declared exception to the “Avoid Those Smelly Little Troublemakers At All Costs” rule. Once a baby reaches the age of two, The Kidling—in all her benevolence—has declared them fit to receive her assistance.

The Parents view this as progress.

But Alice shocked the hell out of us last week when she decided to make nice with a 20-month-old child. Real nice. Genuine nice. And only twenty months? A full four months shy of the age of Kidling assistance eligibility?!

Color us surprised.

This darling little 20-month-old child is wee even for a wee one. As such, she struggled mightily when trying to climb onto a couch in the lobby of the restaurant we were patronizing. The Kidling, witnessing her struggle, proceeded to pick her up and put her gently on the couch.

Everyone was happy.

The girls continued to play nicely together, with Alice being a delightful little helper to her 20-month-old pal. After many minutes of play during which Alice helped as needed, she decided to switch roles from enabler to encourager. As her pal struggled with the couch-climbing, Alice sidled up next to her and cheered her on, telling her, “You’ve got to use your muscles!”

Coach Al is kind of hilarious.

About The Mamahttp://kidlingville.comProfessional talker, editor, emailer, problem solver, adjunct lecturer, blogger, and mother to the brilliantly absurd Kidling.

12 thoughts on “coach al

  1. We had an opposite situation with 3 year old. He started daycare as a 1 year old when I went back to work and therefore is very used to being around younger children. He expressed immense interest and even excitement at the prospect of the birth of his younger sibling and then about two weeks pre-labour a couple of friends with an 18 month old (=baby) came by. The 18 month old gave 3 year old a passionate hug from behind to which 3 year old reacted with visible discomfort. He then started crying and gagging saying 18 month old got ‘baby smell’ all over him. This being about two week pre-labour, mommy wasn’t thrilled with the new development. He got over it.

    • Um, that is hilarious.

      The poor little guy! Depending on which “baby smell” he had gotten on him, I can’t say I blame him for his reaction. That being said, I am glad for baby’s sake that he got over it.


  2. While this was happening I had no idea that Alice was so anti-baby; I just assumed that she was that friendly to all wee ones! Hilarious to see that situation through the Blogger’s eyes after seeing it through my own!

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