Accidents happen. For example, the world’s ugliest nativity scene was destroyed this weekend, courtesy of The Kidling, when she accidentally knocked it off a shelf at a craft store. It wasn’t this one, but it was bad.

Fine. The second ugliest.

The clerk called my bluff when I said I would pay for the damn thing, and then offered to let me take it home. Let’s go through this point-by-point:

1. The world’s ugliest nativity scene;
2. Shattered in 100 pieces;
3. For which I begrudgingly paid $16;
4. Is now mine to keep?

Thanks, but no thanks. Then it wouldn’t be an accident: it would be a tragedy. As such, we cleaned up the hideous mess and put it in the garbage where it belonged.

So accidents happen. Sometimes, when you live with a four-year-old, those accidents involve pee.

I bet you didn’t see that coming.

Sweet child o’ mine had a little accident at preschool yesterday. She mentioned it as we were changing her into pajamas. Try as we might, The Dada and I couldn’t quite figure out why she came home in the same clothes as she went to school.*

The Mama: Was it a big accident, or just a little accident?

Alice: A big one. The pee was on the floor.

The Mama: Oh. Did they wash your clothes?

Alice: No. They washed my shoes. Miss M helped me get clean underwear and they washed my shoes so they wouldn’t be pee shoes, they would just be water shoes.

And thank goodness she didn’t have to wear pee shoes. It probably would have scarred her for life.


* Answer: she was wearing a skirt and she came home in her back-up undies. It all makes sense now.

About The Mamahttp://kidlingville.comProfessional talker, editor, emailer, problem solver, adjunct lecturer, blogger, and mother to the brilliantly absurd Kidling.

16 thoughts on “shoes

  1. Ah, a skirt. I guess that is one potty training benefit of girls over boys – if you can think if peeing on the floor and not the clothes as a benefit…

    • Hilarious. My son had two accidents yesterday. A real one and a fake one. The real one involved poop, staircase and failure to make it to the washroom on time. The fake one involved pee and curiosity as to what it would feel like to pee on the floor while mommy is too busy taking care of accident #1. Now let’s hope 3 year old never finds out about WordPress.

      • Oh, Katia. What a day. I hope you poured yourself a big glass of wine and settled into a hot bubble bath. If not, then do it now. Delayed relaxation is better than none at all.

    • Ha! The things that translate from a child’s life to an adult’s. Who would have known back-up undies would fall into that category!?

      Thanks for the laugh, Brian! Cheers!

  2. Still chuckling. Would you like to have something that you paid for? Is this a new trend in sales? I think I would have accepted the nativity scene and returned the next day with my receipt and demanded a refund because the darn thing is broken! If they refused, I would then agree to an exchange and given the unbroken nativity scene to my least favorite person.

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