Google-copter parenting (a miseducation)

The Kidling is curious. Very curious. As such, she asks a lot of questions to which I do not know the answer. Many of them I once knew (in fourth grade), but others of them I honestly don’t have a clue. Unfortunately, she has been asking quite a few questions recently about human evolution and the origin of man. The sciences being an area in which The Mama did not excel in school, I speak in broad strokes. And Google.

Thank God* for The Google.

Okay, so I didn’t describe this chart. Or anything even remotely similar. Or anything else containing more than a smidge of accuracy.But isn’t this the coolest thing you’ve seen all day?

Which is all to say that yesterday after work, whilst driving about town running our errands, The Kidling start asking me questions about early humans. I did my best to talk about the general ideas while safely carting us from Point A to Point B. I verbally described this chart at right. We (somewhat inaccurately) discussed early mobility. I might or might not have included discussion of knuckle-walking. Which might or might not have been entirely inaccurate. Who keeps up with these things, really? The Kidling was fascinated with the idea of using knuckles for balance and support (and whatever else I erroneously told her), and wanted to know just how far back we were talking when I mentioned, “early humans.”

Alice: So my grandparents used to?

The Mama: No, sweetie.

Alice: I don’t understand!

The Mama: I know. It is kind of heard to wrap your head around.** Imagine that your Grandma’s Grandma’s Grandma’s Grandma’s Grandma’s Grandma’s Grandma’s Grandma’s Grandma’s Grandma’s Grandma’s Grandma’s Grandma’s Grandma’s Grandma’s Grandma’s Grandma’s Grandma’s Grandma’s Grandma’s Grandma’s Grandma’s Grandma’s Grandma’s Grandma’s Grandma’s Grandma’s Grandma’s Grandma’s Grandma’s Grandma’s Grandma’s Grandma’s Grandma’s Grandma did. They are related to modern humans. You wouldn’t even recognize them.

Alice: But I would still ask what their name is and I would not eat a poison apple because I know when someone’s tricking me. I’d just run away. I’d just run away like crazy!

Human evolution… Stranger Danger… I’m not certain which of us is more confused.

________________________________________________

* By “God,” I mean Gods. And by “Gods,” I mean Larry Page and Sergey Brin.

** Because The Mama hasn’t a damn clue what she is talking about and we need to get The Kidling a real science teacher STAT before I screw up her education before it even starts.

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About The Mamahttp://kidlingville.comProfessional talker, editor, emailer, problem solver, adjunct lecturer, blogger, and mother to the brilliantly absurd Kidling.

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