The Kidling hates having her hair washed. Sound familiar? Probably because you’ve read those words here at least a quarter dozen times (half-dozen would be an exaggeration and three just doesn’t sound significant). Or because your kid is a pain in the arse around bath time, too.
The other day Alice did the most obnoxious bath-time balancing act: the Cooperate and Kvetch. Putting aside that I should probably rush to the nearest attorney and copyright that before I regret it, I will risk everything and continue. Aren’t you lucky The Mama is such a devoted blogger?
The Cooperate and Kvetch happens like this: The Kidling does exactly what she has been told to do but whines, moans, and complains throughout the entire episode. It sucks because parents—this parent in particular—hate to do anything to discourage cooperation. Like correct the Kvetch and sacrifice the Cooperate.
But it is Just. So. Annoying.
On this particular night during this particular bath time, Alice delivered this soliloquy whilst enduring the horror that is the shampoo, “(a full minute of random grumbling) Life is not fair because I do not like life. It’s a hard-knock life. It’s a kid life. It’s a fun life.”
What’s that? Fun? I’m fairly certain she didn’t mean to say that, but I’ll take it. A little free association—where kid leads to fun—and she forgot how much she hated the fear of getting water in her eyes.