The Kidling never lets me down

My notebooks are empty. I was thinking yesterday afternoon that I might not have a story to share today without digging into the archives (I am saving those for next week. Stay tuned). Early evening we were headed home after some post-nap errands. We were tired and hungry. The car was relatively quiet. Until…

Alice: (to The Mama) I’m glad you got married together because I’m starting to like the shirts and the hats that you have. You have your own stuff, don’t you?

The Mama: Of course.

Alice: I like Sponge Bob Squirt Pants. I like to say it. Squirt Squirt Squirt.

The Mama: His name is Sponge Bob Square Pants.

Alice: No it’s not. It’s Squirt. Sponge Bob Squirt Pants. I don’t even hear the “SQ” sound. Squirt Squirt Squirt.

The Mama: Square Square Square.

Alice: Squirt-

The Mama: Square-

Alice: Squirt-

The Mama: Square-

Alice: Squirt Squirt-

The Mama: Square Square-

(giggles. then silence. for a moment)

Alice: Hello Titty. Ha ha! I said Hello Titty. Knock knock!

The Mama: Who’s there?

Alice: Worm heart.

The Mama: Worm heart who?

Alice: Worm heart I really love you so please go away. I’m not going to get up today.

Seriously. This all happened. In this order. Though I did omit a highly detailed discussion of how flea and heartworm medicines work on our dog. Because I was probably wrong.



About The Mamahttp://kidlingville.comProfessional talker, editor, emailer, problem solver, adjunct lecturer, blogger, and mother to the brilliantly absurd Kidling.

23 thoughts on “The Kidling never lets me down

  1. The Mama,
    I was going to write: You invented Alice, right, cause she’s too awesome to be true. Then I thought… Well, she did invent Alice… With The Papa. What will The Alice be in 5 years from now?
    Le Clown

    • Isn’t it just the worst name? Still, she vehemently disagrees with me every time I try to tell her otherwise. Even when I explained that his pants were square, she didn’t buy it.

      • It’s absolutely disgusting. I think that’s why I like it so much.

        Eli has decided there are no birds. There are only chickens and ducks….I know. I tried to explain his multiple errors. He just sighs and says, “No mama.”

  2. Her comments make me laugh every day…and this is the first time I have heard a kidling be happy about their parents’ union for fashion’s sake…:-)

  3. My mom has a great story like that about me. She never misses an opportunity to tell it. Of course, young children always know the correct words. It’s the parents that are wrong.

  4. Pingback: blog-cation | the book of alice

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