I mentioned this morning that we just returned from a family vacation. We were in Wisconsin Dells, land of water parks and… well… more water parks.

Don’t even think about drowning in THIS life jacket. It ain’t gonna happen.
image source: http://www.amazon.com/Stearns-Childs-Classic-Boating-Vest/dp/B000NV7QB2/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1340027256&sr=8-2&keywords=life+jackets+for+kids
Friday afternoon, The Dada and I took The Kidling and her cousin, The Kiddo, to one of the pools. Their favorite thing now is flailing and splashing violently while moving at 0.00001 miles per hour swimming around the pool. This fun, of course, is preceded by shrouding the children in unwieldy floatation devices.
The water park at which we stay provides very nice life jackets. You probably know the one: three straps across the abdomen and one around the bottom. Safety-safe-safe! Mama-types and Dada-types can feel good about floating their munchkins around a pool in one of these. I don’t think the girls could have gotten their faces in the water if they tried. I put The Kidling in her life jacket first. She was chomping at the bit, ready to get in the pool right now. Three seconds after I turned to get The Kiddo ready, The Kidling asked: “Are you ready!? Did you get your vagina strapped?!”
Oh, dear one. Did you steal The Mama’s Nook?
_______________________________
Confidential to The Kidling: I am quite proud that at the tender age of four, you are prepared to be banned from speaking on the Michigan House floor. You are, as always, ahead of the curve. And The Mama loves you even more for it.
My own view is that the Kidling would have been exempted from speaking on the Michigan House floor long before this – she is that far ahead of those who spend their days there…And may I say, before swimming it is advisable to get that vagina strapped in. Who knows where it may travel were it not? 🙂
Mimi, that one caused a genuine belly laugh. Thanks.
OMG – thanks for the daily does of laughter! She’s too much.
Agreed. Far too much.
Oh my!!!
My thought exactly. I nearly dissolved in fits of laughter right then and there by the pool.
If she says, “damn it, vagina!” she will get my vote.
I hope she will never have cause to say those three words in that particular order, and that her vagina, like her elbow, nose, or big toe, will give her body a lifetime of problem-free service. If, however, this is not the case and she does in fact exclaim, “damn it, vagina!” then you will be the first to know. And that is a promise.
Nice references to current events!!
Ha! Thanks, Kamellia! The Kidling is always looking out for The Mama, isn’t she? Keepin’ it real since 2008.
You’ve made me and the female lawmakers of Michigan proud today, Christine! At least she didn’t tell everyone you have a vibrator. Yet.
Vagina. There. We made you proud again today.
Actually, I’m always pretty proud of you, girl!
Blushing here. Thanks, Cristy.
(vagina)
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Well, was your vagina strapped? And my 2 year-old daughter did find my BOB. She asked daddy if she could play with it and his response was “go ask your mum.” I told her no. Am I mean?
Um, I love that he deferred to you. Like he would have been cool with a “Sure, sweetie!”
What kind of dad would he have been if he had given her permission, though? I’m sure the kind of dad that deserves to be honored by a “I Love Dad” tramp-stamp.
Good point. May she never play with your toy and may he never be honored by inappropriate ink.
I’ll drink to that! 🙂
Cheers!