50 shades of safe

I mentioned this morning that we just returned from a family vacation. We were in Wisconsin Dells, land of water parks and… well… more water parks.

Friday afternoon, The Dada and I took The Kidling and her cousin, The Kiddo, to one of the pools. Their favorite thing now is flailing and splashing violently while moving at 0.00001 miles per hour swimming around the pool. This fun, of course, is preceded by shrouding the children in unwieldy floatation devices.

The water park at which we stay provides very nice life jackets. You probably know the one: three straps across the abdomen and one around the bottom. Safety-safe-safe! Mama-types and Dada-types can feel good about floating their munchkins around a pool in one of these. I don’t think the girls could have gotten their faces in the water if they tried. I put The Kidling in her life jacket first. She was chomping at the bit, ready to get in the pool right now. Three seconds after I turned to get The Kiddo ready, The Kidling asked: “Are you ready!? Did you get your vagina strapped?!”

Oh, dear one. Did you steal The Mama’s Nook?

_______________________________

Confidential to The Kidling: I am quite proud that at the tender age of four, you are prepared to be banned from speaking on the Michigan House floor. You are, as always, ahead of the curve. And The Mama loves you even more for it.

 

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About The Mamahttp://kidlingville.comProfessional talker, editor, emailer, problem solver, adjunct lecturer, blogger, and mother to the brilliantly absurd Kidling.

21 thoughts on “50 shades of safe

  1. My own view is that the Kidling would have been exempted from speaking on the Michigan House floor long before this – she is that far ahead of those who spend their days there…And may I say, before swimming it is advisable to get that vagina strapped in. Who knows where it may travel were it not? 🙂

    • I hope she will never have cause to say those three words in that particular order, and that her vagina, like her elbow, nose, or big toe, will give her body a lifetime of problem-free service. If, however, this is not the case and she does in fact exclaim, “damn it, vagina!” then you will be the first to know. And that is a promise.

  2. Pingback: duh duh duuuuuuhhhhhhh « the book of alice

  3. Well, was your vagina strapped? And my 2 year-old daughter did find my BOB. She asked daddy if she could play with it and his response was “go ask your mum.” I told her no. Am I mean?

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