knock knock

May I offer a little knock knock joke to start your week? You might recall that The Kidling has a propensity to tell some real doozies (like this one and this one):

Alice: Knock knock!

The Mama: Who’s there?

Alice: Poo poo face.

The Mama: Poo poo face who?

Alice: Pee pee face I hope you don’t say poo poo face again. Or gas gas face (giggles).

… and a grasshopper packing heat

I have very vivid dreams. They tend to be whimsical and/or fantastical and have extraordinary detail. Apparently, The Kidling has inherited my dream gene. She awoke from her nap Friday quite upset. I asked about her sleep and she told me that, yes, she had had a bad dream. I don’t today recall many of the details, but I know it included a “big scary bear with a bad friend. A grasshopper. With a gun.”

It sounds positively terrifying.

on rain

“Rain is clouds’ pee!”

-Alice Munchkin Kidling

May 14, 2012

the kidling chooses her super powers

Inspired by a question from Kathy* in response to this post about super heroes, I asked Alice the following question: If you were a super hero, then what super powers would you have?

Her response did not disappoint. Of course it didn’t. Alice never disappoints:

Alice: Powers that will trap the bad guys!

Climb up and get in the middle of that tree!

I wish I could carry a whole house with you two in it. And all those things.

I wish I could carry Margot!

I wish I could attack giants.

And I want to be Spiderman!

And I can see eggs. And I love eggs. But I didn’t eat them. I just carried them so the meat-eater babies and the kids– So the meat-eater babies, and the kids, and the grandpas and grandmas can all stay alive!

The Mama: Any others?

Alice: Those are the only ones. And I can lock bad people up.

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* Kathy, by the way, is hilarious. You have to read this post. Really. But be forewarned: you should read it when your boss is at lunch, because you won’t be able to control your giggles.

race ya!

Does it surprise anyone here to find out that The Kidling challenged her pediatrician to a foot race? What if I told you Alice was genuinely disappointed when she had to answer a page and the race had to be postponed until her next visit?

No? Good. You know The Kidling well.

60 seconds in the life of The Kidling

Wednesday afternoon Alice and I had some errands to run. On our way home, she started chattering. Incessantly. I would love to spend an entire day inside her head. Since I can’t do that, I’ll share 60 seconds with you…

Alice: What’s that letter— What’s that word? In Spanish?* What’s that word in Spanish that comes after ‘tres’?

The Mama: Cuatro

Alice: Yeah, cuatro! I’m thinking in Spanish. I’m counting in Spanish and everyone’s gonna know how smart I am. Everyone’s gonna love me. Well, everyone who knows me is gonna love— Hey, that’s a white water tower! I love white water towers! If we hadn’t come I wouldn’t have seen the white water tower? Or fed those fish. I am glad we came.

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* Full disclosure: Alice didn’t say Spanish. But you knew that, didn’t you? What, then, did she say?  ‘panish.  Of course.

this stinks

The Kidling hates getting water in her eyes. As you might guess, this makes washing her hair quite the task. We give her a washcloth to hold over her eyes so I can dump water over her hair and protect those sweet little peepers. This act is typically met with appreciation, but last night I faced resistance. Why? Well, as I placed the washcloth over Alice’s eyes, she balked, complaining, “This smells like rotten pee! It is stinking my mind!”

Now, dear readers, let me provide you some reassurance. Shocked by Alice’s declaration, I risked harm to my nose and sniffed this washcloth. It did not smell like rotten anything, and it most certainly did not smell of rotten pee. Fret not.

a monday morning simile

“My stroller is just like my bed. It’s like a little, moving hammock.”

-Alice Munchkin Kidling

May 9, 2012