nap time, or (anything but) nap time

Scene: Nap time. The Kidling has been up several times in an attempt to do anything except fall asleep. Minutes pass. The Mama assumes all is safe. Then, she hears the sound of footsteps on the stairs. Moments later, Alice bursts into the office. With a naked bottom.

The Mama: (trying desperately to hide a smile) Alice, what’s going on?

Alice: Ummm…

The Mama: Where are your pants?

Alice: I don’t know.

The Mama: Really?

Alice: Yes.

The Mama: You really don’t know where your pants are?

Alice: No.

The Mama: Are you sure?

Alice: Yes.

The Mama: Alice, I think you know where your pants are.

Alice: No. Really. I don’t.

The Mama: Don’t you know where your pants are?

Alice: Really. No.

The Mama: Then who took your pants?

Alice: I don’t know!

The Mama: I think your pants are in the bathroom. I think you took them off to go potty and didn’t put them back on. Right?

Alice: No.

The Mama: (in a warning tone) Alice?

Alice: (silence)

The Mama: I want you to go upstairs, put your pants back on, and go to sleep.

Alice: Can I go potty first?

The Mama: (thinks: Are you freaking kidding me? You haven’t even used the toilet yet? You got out of bed, went into the bathroom, took your pants and underwear off, came downstairs and started this charade before you even peed!?!?!?!)  Yes.

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About The Mamahttp://kidlingville.comProfessional talker, editor, emailer, problem solver, adjunct lecturer, blogger, and mother to the brilliantly absurd Kidling.

20 thoughts on “nap time, or (anything but) nap time

  1. I think this is one of my favorites so far. I had a similar incident recently – funny how they suddenly have NO idea what you are talking about when they’ve done something they don’t want to admit to.

  2. Ha ha..Alice must know of one my twin girls lol…they do this same thing all the time…except one of them isn’t even potty trained yet (she has refused to do anything with the potty) yet at bed and nap time…she takes it all off, and say “wanna pee pe now” Lol…funny munckins they are

  3. I love your blog. Just love it. Thanks for another laugh. And thanks for making me think that maybe my kid isn’t such a weirdo after all. Or maybe they just all are. One of those things.

    • Oh, Kamellia. Thank you. I’m glad you got a chuckle out of my bewilderment.

      Also, I would guess that your kid is still a weirdo. Mine is just weirdo-er. 😉

      Cheers!

  4. Oh yes, this is a favorite of my youngest. I also love when he comes running into our one bathroom, doing the extreme emergency potty dance while I’m using the facilities, waits until I’ve rushed to abdicate the throne for his royal highness and then starts a long animated conversation with me about nothing in particular instead of actually using the potty.

    • Yes! Fathead, this is a scene I know well. Alice like to stand in front of the toilet with her pants and underwear down, talking about how badly she needs to go. Seriously, kid? Then go!

      Cheers!

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