my life is a circus

Not a circus. The circus. My life is the Circus. Or, at least, it was on Monday. Oh yes, Alice Munchkin Kidling went to her very first teeny tiny outdoor circus. And she was smitten.

Clearly The Kidling is heartbroken at being forced to spend the evening at the circus.

It all began on the walk to our seats. Alice overheard a parent telling her worried child not to be afraid of clowns. This child was not convinced. The Kidling—who has myriad inexplicable fears—could not understand this child’s dilemma.

“I’m not afraid of clowns. Someone’s afraid of clowns. But I’m not. A clown is really just a person who’s dressed up. They don’t know that a clown is really just a person who’s dressed up.”

We took our seats and the show started.

Okay, so it didn’t happen exactly like that. We took our seats, they tried to sell us 347 pieces of plastic crap souvenirs and 19 types of 100 percent unnatural, high-fructose corn syrup snacks. Alice wiggled around and asked two dozen times where the elephants were.  Then the show started.

The Kidling’s dream of riding an elephant comes true, exactly three weeks after she decided she wanted to ride an elephant “some day.” This does not set a good precedent. Note to self: must lower expectations.

They began with big cats doing very small tricks. Alice was impressed regardless. Gasps and applause filled the air as The Kidling declared, “Those tigers are aMAZing!” Frankly, the tigers looked like they needed a nap but no four-year-old, first-time circus attendee would notice such a thing.

At intermission, those bastards the emcee announced that there would be elephant rides! During intermission only! Buy your tickets in the center ring! No indication of whether these tickets cost $1 or a student loan payment in our five-college-degree household. Oh no, you have to walk down to the center ring with your child to investigate. Jerks.Guess who got to ride an elephant.

Elephants! On tiny pedestals!

Of course, Alice has now modified her career goals. Oh yes, she wants to be “a circus one.” Please note that “one” substitutes for “worker” in The Kidling’s vernacular. Being the dedicated little future “circus one” that she is, Alice wanted desperately to practice as soon as we left the circus grounds.

“Let’s circus now! I’m gonna be a real circus person, so I’m gonna practice. I’m gonna circus here!”

Sigh. Not on the concrete, Alice. Please?

Alas, we got home. As we tucked a very over-stimulated kidling into bed, we talked about her evening. I asked, “Did you enjoy yourself?”  To which my little goose replied, “No, I enjoyed the animals. Not myself.”

The (ridiculously excited) Kidling, The Mama, and The Shades. What? When they are that big, they deserve a mention, don’t you think?

About The Mamahttp://kidlingville.comProfessional talker, editor, emailer, problem solver, adjunct lecturer, blogger, and mother to the brilliantly absurd Kidling.

18 thoughts on “my life is a circus

    • Thanks, Karen! I agree 95 percent of the time. Occasionally, she is a big hunk of coal, waiting to be transformed to her typical gem-like state.

  1. i remember my first circus in third grade. i was so excited, and the animals seemed so big to me. i loved the funny clowns, and especially the tite wire acts

  2. I have a real-life friend who went to clown college in Paris. So Alice could become a circus one AND be saddled with lots of student debt! Hurrah!

  3. Who doesn’t want to run away with the circus? And then they see Poltergeist which instills a permanent fear of all clowns forever. Anyway, how cute is Alice? And how cute are you in your gimomongous shades. Totally fab. I bet you never ache after yoga. Beeyatch!

    • In response to your questions, CCL:
      1) Me. I don’t want to run away with the circus. All that make-up would make my poor, sensitive skin beg for mercy.
      2) Damn cute. Dare I say the cutest?
      3) Not too bad. The face-eclipsing shades don’t hurt my case.
      4) Post-yoga aches are directly correlated to the frequency with which I practice and the amount of ice cream (or wine) I have consumed over the previous week.

  4. So the fact that I’m drinking vodka to alleviate yoga pain is a bad thing? Okay, add this to my growing list of things I hate about yoga.

    You may dare say that Alice is the cutest. I know of no other cuter blog subject in this hemisphere…other than my hubby, but that’s really an entirely different kind of cute.

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